Showing posts with label Etiquette. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Etiquette. Show all posts

Monday, December 24, 2018

Be Where Your Feet Are: High School Edition



I first wrote about "be where your feet are" almost four years ago. It was a phrase I had heard from one of our media specialists, Kelli Whiteside. She used this phrase with her family to remind them to focus on the people around them and not their screens. I adopted this phrase with my own family and share it with students and parents when I present on digital health and wellness. 

Recently our high school students and staff put together a video (above) for the students to help remind them to be where their feet are in the hallways and classrooms at school, encouraging them to be present with those around them. This was shown during the morning school wide televised announcements. Through some funny scenarios students can see what might happen when they are too distracted by their personal devices to really be aware to what's going on around them. At the end the principal, Jeff Erickson, quotes Ferris Bueller and reminds students, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."  Very true! With the New Year just a week away, consider setting a resolution so spend more time being where your feet are. It's certainly something one which many of us could improve.

Related posts:


Monday, November 19, 2018

Two Years Focusing on Gratitude

A picture I took this fall on a run, thankful for the gorgeous fall colors.
For over two years I have recorded three things a day for which I'm thankful. I first started this habit after attending a workshop that stressed the importance on focusing on the good things in our lives. This was emphasized as a way to not let negative events dictate our mood, our outlook and affect our interactions with others. The highlights and gratitudes I record are often events of the day, highlights, interactions with my family and others, or sometimes just something memorable I don't want to forget. I'm finding that the older I get, the more important it is to record these things! Research has found that we tend to remember negative things more than positive, which is yet another reason to record these.

Two years ago when I first wrote about this my wife and four kids participated by recording their own gratitudes daily for three weeks. We incorporated this as part of our time with one another at dinner. We found this to be a great conversation starter and way to get everyone to reflect upon their day, share highlights, and appreciate the good things that happen in our lives. It's also a great way to help our kids practice listening, taking turns, being polite, and builds relationship with one another as we learn more about each person. We did all of this without technology in use during our meal and believe in being where our feet are, something we still strive to do not just at the dinner table but also at other times, too, such as in the car and when hanging out with one another.

With Thanksgiving this week in the United States, many of us will have a day off to spend time with our family and friends and reflect on things for which we are grateful. I encourage you to extend this practice beyond the day and incorporate gratitude as part of your daily routine. I believe I'm a better person after two years of this practice. On a related note, as educators it can be helpful to remind ourselves of the good things happening around us so we don't burn out focusing on the negatives--thanks to my colleague and Tech Coach Rachel Studnicka for pointing out this article about that.

Many other posts I've made related to having a healthy balance in our lives around our use of technology can help you spend more time in gratitude and relationship with family and friends. Check them out:

Monday, December 25, 2017

#DeviceFreeDinner: Will Ferrell PSAs on Common Sense Media

Common Sense Media's PSA about #DeviceFreeDinner
Winter Break is a great time for families to to be together, hang out, relax, and get reenergized for the second half of the school year. This week all of our students and teachers are off, spending time with family and friends. With schedules that likely aren't as busy, hopefully families will have more time to be together at the dinner table, too. In the past I've written about the importance of tech free family dinners focused on gratitude and being where your feet are as well as the importance of being a Digital Mentor for kids. 

Common Sense Media launched a great campaign about a year ago related to these topics called #DeviceFreeDinner. If you haven't taken a look at their tips and suggestions, please do so. Kudos to them for spending time and energy on this campaign to bring it to the attention of a wider audience. Recently they added some celebrity presence to this message by creating public service announcements with Will Ferrell. There are four short public service announcements you can watch on their site.

Hopefully you aren't reading this at the dinner table with your family! Since you are reading, take a moment to reflect on you own use of tech while around others. If you are on someone who is on a device during meals with family and/or friends, make a New Year's Resolution to change this habit. Reflect on modeling this tech etiquette both for those you know as well as being a digital mentor and role model for strangers seeing you interact with (or be distracted from) others. 

Many other posts I've made related to having a healthy balance in our lives around our use of technology can be good New Year's Resolutions, too. Check them out:

    Monday, June 15, 2015

    Coming Soon: MiPhone X with a Conscience Helps You T.H.I.N.K. Before You Post

    MiPhone X with a Conscience
    Helps You T.H.I.N.K. Before You Post

    We're fortunate in Minnetonka to have very talented and creative staff and students. One of these individuals, Andy Smith, is our A/V Production Specialist. Part of his job is to produce messages for the high school morning news show, including messages around Digital Citizenship. His most recent creation to get our students to T.H.I.N.K. Before They Post is about the 
    MiPhone.  The MiPhone is a futurist smartphone with a conscience that helps with posting appropriately and keeps its owner from getting into trouble or having digital regret.  The video does a great job of getting students to reflect on what they digitize and communicate in a humorous way.

    The video first appeared on the high school morning news show at the beginning of June 2015.  The Beyond 140 series is a regular feature of the high school principal, Jeff Erickson, who with Andy's help, uses video to deliver messages to the 3,000 Minnetonka High School Students that go beyond the limitations of 140 characters of his Tweets. The student actor in the video is Eric V., a talented senior who just graduated. 

    Find more resources about Digital Citizenship here.

    Monday, April 20, 2015

    Technology & Relationships


    This month the pastors at my church, Westwood Community Church, are focusing the messages on technology based on a book titled “The Digital Invasion: How Technology is Shaping You and Your Relationships” by Dr. Archibald Hart and Dr. Sylvia Hart. Yesterday I was interviewed by Pastor Joel Johnson during the message at each service. We discussed digital footprints, filters, fragmented focus, solitude, digital yawns, parenting high tech kids, and more. I explained how last fall, because my five year old daughter pointed out how much time I spend on my phone, I made changes to limit my own screen time and distraction and shared my tips for dealing with this. The video of this interview is about 15 minutes long.   


    You can start the video from the beginning if you'd like to here the entire message from Joel about how technology affects our relationships. He has some great insight about the importance of solitude with a great Henri Nouwen quote and an outline of the five benefits of solitude. Joel also gives a great overview of Sherry Turkle's TED Talk: Connected, but Alone?  If you haven't watched it, do!

    Cyber Safety: Catching Up With High Tech Kids On Thursday, April 30, from 7–8:30pm, I have a parent ed class scheduled at Westwood.  If you are in the area and able to attend, please register online (it's free). Invite others, too.

    Tablets, Smartphones, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, Vine, Minecraft... Technology is a big part of our kids’ world! Keeping up can be challenging, but a positive and well informed approach can have a big impact on your child’s future and habits. Learn how to help your kids develop a balanced and healthy use of technology. Get tips and ideas for maintaining open dialog about technology and understand the significant role you play in helping your child be responsible and safe in today’s high-tech world. Numerous ideas and free resources will be shared.  

    Past related posts:

    Monday, April 13, 2015

    My First Apple Watch: Solution to Distraction?

    Image Source
    I read with interest the recent Wired article by David Pierce entitled, iPhone Killer: The Secret History of the Apple Watch, specifically that 
    "the Watch’s raison d’être... came down to this: Your phone is ruining your life. Like the rest of us, Ive, Lynch, Dye, and everyone at Apple are subject to the tyranny of the buzz—the constant checking, the long list of nagging notifications. “We’re so connected, kind of ever-presently, with technology now,” Lynch says. “People are carrying their phones with them and looking at the screen so much.” They’ve glared down their noses at those who bury themselves in their phones at the dinner table and then absentmindedly thrust hands into their own pockets at every ding or buzz. “People want that level of engagement,” Lynch says. “But how do we provide it in a way that’s a little more human, a little more in the moment when you’re with somebody?”
    How intriguing; I never thought I would read that the iPhone engineers wish we weren't spending so much time on our screens and that the phone is "ruining our life."  Imagine stepping back and looking at everyone's interactions with their screens as you go about daily life, and knowing it was something you helped to create!

    I personally wish that Lynch wouldn't have stated that Apple wants to continue the same amount of engagement (substitute the less positive word distraction or interruption here) but in a "more human" way. I was hoping that the Apple Watch would become a tool to decrease the distractions and make it easier to be in the moment.  I know what they mean, but I think a larger question is whether the majority of the consumers will adjust their watch settings in order to tailor things so they can better focus on people around them and tasks at hand (pun unintentional), or if the majority of Apple Watch wearers will spend even more time on their screens due to the increased amount of alerts/vibrations that they now almost never miss--"subject to the tyranny of the buzz."  Sometimes with my phone in my pocket or my wife's phone in her purse, we miss alerts, buzzes, and notifications. Wearing an Apple Watch, it would seem those days are gone.

    So for individuals like me seeing a need for ways to limit distractions, it would appear that my decisions as to what information is important enough to warrant an interruption/alert/vibration on a watch will be critical to my success.  Failure to carefully weigh in the importance of each of these could result in even further "engagement" with one's screen(s).  Alerts on my wrist to text messages, notifications of posts on social media, Tweets, news flashes, etc., even if they are all just for a few seconds as the Wired article states Apple has designed them to be, do not seem to be ways to regain focus, especially with those around you.  

    Back in December I explained that my 2015 New Year's Resolutions were to Cut Back on Digital Distractions.  Specifically I explained that I was going to:
    1. Use the Moment app to track the number of minutes I spend on my phone and how frequently I check it.
    2. Decrease my nocializing/digital yawning.
    3. Turn off app notifications to decrease FOMO and interruptions
    Since then, I've done better for sure. I continue to track my time, I am trying to decrease nocializing, and have found increased freedom by turning off notifications. More an each of these will have to be additional posts... So the option to buy an Apple Watch has caused me to reflect as to whether this tool would assist with my New Year's Resolution or hinder it. I'm hopeful it might.  At the end of the Wired article, the author writes:
    "Lynch is leaning forward in his chair, telling me about his kids: about how grateful he is to be able to simply glance at his Watch, realize that the latest text message isn’t immediately important, and then go right back to family time; about how that doesn’t feel disruptive to him—or them."
    That does sound appealing. Perhaps a short glance is better than turning on a phone screen. I know you could argue to not even have the interruption in the first place. But with today's news headlines that almost 1,000,000 people pre-ordered an Apple Watch on the first-day, there will be a lot of people around us glancing at watches instead of phones, and likely more in the years to come. Watch behavior and etiquette will be an increasing topic of conversation in our culture.

    I hope that all of us can learn to adjust our settings so that we don't have to glance at our watches even more than we currently do our phones.  We could all set things on our phone to not interrupt us as frequently as they do now, but few have. Perhaps the next level of technology innovation with algorithms at some sort of artificial intelligence level will be able to decide which things to even interrupt/alert/notify/engage us and filter out needless disruptions, prevent some glances from even being necessary. I hope so. 

    I didn't pre-order an Apple Watch.  I don't think I will be getting one soon, either. The price is high and I'm not convinced what I'd be buying would make me a better person. I'm not convinced that my first Apple Watch will be the solution to decreasing the distractions in my life that I am seeking. Time will tell (pun intentional).

    Monday, April 6, 2015

    Be Where Your Feet Are: Quality #RealTime with Those Around You


    Recently I was in a local coffee shop and noticed what appeared to be a father and middle school aged daughter seated with one another before school.  I was struck by the fact that the two of them almost said nothing to one another and instead were both engrossed in their phones.  This went on for at least 20 minutes until they left. I'm sure you have seem something similar. I've been guilty myself.  

    Lately I've been making a conscious effort to not be on a screen when I'm with my children and instead pay attention to them. Common Sense Media has a push right now with PSA encouraging parents to Make Room for #realtime, perhaps you've seen it. This takes effort.

    I have noticed an increase in the amount of times I'm stopped at a light while driving and there appears to be a parent and child in the car next to me not talking, with the child looking at a cellphone screen.  My wife and I are trying to keep the space and time in the car as opportunities for conversation and limiting the amount of screen time that is taking place. A related article in yesterday's Washington Post shows the importance of quality time, not the quantity of time, we spend with our children: Making time for kids? Study says quality trumps quantity. 

    I also see more and more movies being played in vehicles for kids in the back seat as cars are arriving and departing in school parking lots, grocery stores, or other places that are close enough to home that it's likely was just a short errand, not a long road trip. In our family, we have reserved the screen entertainment in the car for really long road trips.  We hope to increase the opportunities for conversation as well as allow for some down time.  We think that limiting the amount of time kids expect to get entertained will benefit them in the long run.  

    I always enjoy receiving a good parenting tip from others who have experience and insight. A colleague of mine, Kelli Whiteside, is an elementary media specialist and parent of three children, some older than mine.  Kelli and I have co-presented on the topic of Parenting Tech Savvy Kids a few times over the past couple of years.  One of the tips I have heard her talk about is a phrase they use frequently in their family to remind one another to pay attention to those around them versus being distracted by a screens/device:


    Be where your feet are.


    She says this simple phrase is a great reminder to all in her family be engaged with one another in conversation and attention, not just physically share the same space.  I think this is a great reminder for families as well as for everyone. Be where your feet are.  

    So, are you where your feet are?  In a coffee shop with others?  In your car with passengers?  As a spectator at your child's events?  At home at the dinner table?  It's an intriguing question, and not just one for parents and children. Are you where your feet are during a meeting?  While at work?

    Have a tip to share?  Please do!  

    FYI, a link to my collection of other tips and resources can be found at tinyurl.com/CyberResources.  

    Monday, March 2, 2015

    Minnesota Trends in Social Media, Cyberbullying, and Digital Citizenship

    For the past eight years I have had the privilege to speak about digital citizenship and cyber safety to tens of thousands of secondary students and parents in over 70 public and private school districts across Minnesota. I have shared the important message of using technology in healthy and appropriate ways by addressing current issues such as the latest apps, cyber bullying, inappropriate material, and digital footprints.  I am able to take vacation time off from my job in Minnetonka to do this. More info about my presentations is online. 
    One of the things I do during my student presentations is to use PollEverywhere to engage the student audience by answering questions through text messaging. Their answers to multiple choice or yes/no questions are displayed instantly on the screen for all to see, and then we discuss the results. Most often, about a half to three fourths of the students in the audience choose to participate (not everyone has a cellphone/texting, I suppose some feel it's not anonymous, while others may be "too cool" to do this).  Recently I decided to export the polls into a report to see the cumulative results from the students' answers so far this year. Some of the questions I've recently changed, so not all of these polls have the same number of students responding.  The graphs below show the answers of 1,247-4,956 students grades 6-12 polled statewide.

    One interesting trend over the years has been to see the rise and fall of Facebook in popularity. When I started giving these presentations years ago, I was talking about a site called MySpace with students (remember that?).  I saw the rise of Facebook a few years later.  Recently, now that Mom, Grandma, and teachers have signed up for Facebook, the students are quickly leaving for other tools like Instagram and Vine.  

    Other trends I notice are that older high school students are not the quickest adopters; I see more grade 8-10 students begin using the latest tools and applications faster than their older classmates.  I also have noticed a delay in the adoption of the newer trending tools that seems to increase the farther away from the Twin Cities metro area the school is located.  Below are answers to the question, "Which three of these tools do you use the most?"



    Another trend I'm seeing is an increase in the occurrence of cyber bullying statewide each year.  On the past round of the Minnesota State Student Survey last taken by students in 2013, 79-92% of students reported having never been cyber bullied in the past 30 days:


    When I started asking that exact same question this year, only 59% of students now report never having been cyber bullied: 


    I think with the growing number of students with cellphones and smartphones at even younger ages than ever before, cyber bullying is on the rise and should be a topic that is continually addressed by both schools and families, even though it seems like the media coverage has moved past this topic. We need to help students realize how quickly things can be posted, forwarded, and kept through technology, and how difficult it is to remove/take something back:  


    We need to help them to think first before they post, and only post and digitize things they would be comfortable with everyone seeing, including Grandma:



    We can help them understand these thing through continual dialog and reminders. We need to help them be safe as they use technology and do the right thing.  We can help them to create a positive online presence and digital footprint so they have the best future possible!  

    Here's a link to the handout of the top tips I give parents and staff at my presentations which you are welcome to use and share.