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Monday, May 15, 2017

Parenting in the Digital Age: Finding a Healthy Balance Webinar Part II


Last week we held the second part of our "Parenting in the Digital Age: Finding a Healthy Balance" parent webinar series. Once again I was joined by Mathew Meyers, a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist from Traverse Counseling. He specializes in family relationships and healthy technology use including video game addiction. Mathew and I have known each other for a few years as he has served on our District Digital Health & Wellness Committee. He has great insight into parenting, kids, and relationships. He and his wife have three children. I always enjoy discussing technology topics and parenting with Mathew.

So many parents are seeking help, answers and advice as to how to parent and manage our kids’ technology use. Keeping up can be challenging, but a positive and well informed approach can have a big impact on a child’s future and habits. We’ve had a great response to this series, and parents have been anxious to get tips and ideas. We had over 300 parents sign up for the first webinar, and almost 250 for the second. Plus, since it is recorded we put the links on our school website for anyone to view at their convenience afterwards.  

We followed up the first parent webinar with a survey in which we asked parents what they wanted to learn more about. So based on their feedback, we addressed the topics that were requested during part two of our webinar. These included discussion of more parenting strategies and tips, digital footprints, cyberbullying, and pornography and sexting. You can view the full webinar here. Part 1 of this conversation about screen time and balance, addiction, attention and focus, monitoring and filtering, modeling and age recommendations can be viewed here.

 As educators, it’s so important for us to encourage parents to maintain continual open dialog about technology and understand the significant role they play in helping youth be responsible and safe in today’s high-tech world. As Mathew stated near the beginning of this second webinar, all of us are historically blind--there is not template for parenting kids in the digital age. Helping the parents of the students in our schools focus and reflect on these important topics will help everyone in the long run, from the students in our individual classrooms to the community and society as a whole.

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Related topics:Minnetonka Schools Digital Citizenship Webpage 
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Monday, January 27, 2020

Social Media & Parenting Panel Discussion in Minnetonka March 12



As a follow up to our three parent screenings in Minnetonka of the powerful LIKE documentary this year, we are offering a panel discussion about the film and the impact of social media on our lives. On the evening of March 12, Minnetonka parents can engage in small group discussions with others about ways to support healthy technology use, include kids in the conversation and successfully implement changes. Panelists will share tips and ideas to help and answer questions. Panelists include Mathew Meyers, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Cindy Andress, Minnewashta Elementary Principal, Paula Hoff, Minnetonka Middle School West Principal, and Jeff Erickson, Minnetonka High School Principal. I'll moderate the panel. Parents can RSVP on our District Digital Health & Wellness page.

One of many screenings of LIKE in Minnetonka.
Minnetonka students in grades 6-12 saw this documentary during school this year; grades 7, 8 and 10 viewed it in November, and grades 6, 9, 11 and 12 view it in February. The hope is that seeing the film will help spark informed conversations about social media use and help guide everyone toward a healthy relationship with social media, personal technology, and entertainment screen time. Here is the handout that accompanied the film, Tips for Managing Social Media Use, as well as numerous tips and resources below. 

If you haven't seen the LIKE documentary, consider watching Max Stossel's 45 minute recorded student assembly and/or 60 minute parent presentation here. He's the star/narrator of the LIKE film and the Head of Education for the Center for Humane Technology. It's almost the identical content, just not professionally produced like the documentary which included interviews and graphics, etc.
Thanks for your help discussing these topics with your students and family!
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Monday, May 21, 2018

What Story Are Your Kids Living Out in Fortnite? The Importance of Avoiding Violent Video Games

Fortnite Weapon Choices
Fortnite has been a popular game for quite a while, but it seems like just recently its made it to the headlines in educational news organizations as a problem for schools. If you don’t know what it is, it is basically the latest video game craze that tweens, teens and even 20 and 30 year old adults love to play or just watch others play for hours. It’s a mix of Minecraft and Hunger Games in a really engaging, well designed environment where up to 100 players simultaneously work to build up their own defenses while at the same time trying to eliminate all other players--the last person alive or small team of one or two players wins. The boundaries of this virtual world even shrink over time  so people can’t hide out through a storm that players have to avoid. More on Fortnite from Common Sense Media.

Nintendo Wii Just Dance- Fun Without Violence!
I’ve never been a fan of violent video games. When our oldest kids were in elementary school we purchased an original Nintendo Wii which they still occasionally use. Our games are pretty basic such as Mario Cart, Wii Sports, and Just Dance. We never purchased any of violent games, and managed to avoid getting a Play Station or X Box or having our kids play a lot of video games online in general. We’ve always tried to limit their entertainment screen time to about 60 minutes per day and have discouraged any sort of violent video games with guns and killing. I know this doesn’t mean that our kids haven’t ever played these games at a friend's house or more recently through their phone. Games are now easily accessible through mobile devices with high quality graphics in an experience that rivals what used to only be available on the external game consoles. But it does mean they've spent a lot less time gaming and in simulated violent environments which we believe is better for them. Although you can find studies that will back both sides, I've read enough about the negative effects of playing violent video games that makes me believe avoidance is important.
Checking Battery (App Time) Use

Recently our sons were playing Fortnite, so I sat down with them and talked about the content of the game, its objectives, as well as the pretty realistic graphics as players kill off opponents. We talked about how playing something repeatedly conditions ourselves to be less affected by violence. I know there are certain games that are much more violent and gory than Fortnite, and I’m very thankful that we our kids haven’t been into those or wanted to play them. I asked them to cut back on their time playing Fortnite and encouraged them to try to stop playing this type of game altogether. I had each of them go to their phone's settings and look at their battery usage, which lists the total amount of time spent per app. I’ve use this technique in the past as a good tool with my kids to review and talk about what they’re doing on their phones and how much time they are spending on entertainment and social media. I had them take a screenshot of their battery usage and asked them to hold on to that so we could refer back to it in a week and compare their usage overall.
 

What story are your kids living out in their video games?


Two weeks after this conversation, I'm thankful to report that both boys have stopped their playing of the game altogether. I hadn't expected them to both stop completely so soon. I know this isn’t always the case and that some kids will have a much harder time stopping their play of a fun, addictive game. Mathew Meyers, a licensed marriage and family therapist with whom I've done some parent webinars, specializes in helping young people with video game addiction, and begins by having them track their time spent gaming and gradually reducing this. Years ago I heard Dr. David Walsh talk about the dangers of having kids play violent video games and how every game teaches you a storyline. He stated that "Whoever tells the story defines the culture" and asked, "What story are your kids living out in their video games?"  I think these are important questions to continue to ask ourselves and as parents and work to not let our children spend their time in the culture of violent video worlds. We try to limit our exposure to violence in our movie and TV media and news channels as well. This is tough, especially when something like Fortnite is so popular. But as parents, we need to help our children learn to have a healthy balance in the amount of time spent on entertainment and video gaming and steer them to experiences with more positive story lines. They'll be better people in the long run. 

 Check out Common Sense Media's tips on How to Handle the Violent Videos at Your Kid's Fingertips

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Monday, October 2, 2017

Top Tips for Educators to Help Students & Parents with Technology (video)

A few days ago I had the opportunity to join Mathew Meyers once again for a presentation about technology. Specifically, our presentation was designed to help teachers understand ways to help students and their parents use technology in a balanced and appropriate way. This conversation is one that I’ve had in the past with Mathew—last spring we recorded two parent webinars on this topic. (Watch Part I or Part II of Parenting in the Digital Age). In this latest presentation, we cover some of the same topics with teachers that we addressed with parents, but focus more from the perspective of how teachers and educators can help students and parents. A more detailed outline is listed below.

We all want our students to have safe, healthy, and responsible relationships with technology. Mathew points out that
“adults don’t have a template for this—we really are historically blind with how we lead people into a safe, healthy relationship with technology. Parents and educators don’t have the wisdom of those who came before us in regards to how to raise kids with technology. We need to be thoughtful and mindful about how we are engaging with technology. It is resetting how we do relationships, human development, important to be thoughtful so the the implications aren’t detrimental to our future.”  
The K-12 school years are the opportune time to help students learn to have  healthy relations with the technology in their lives, and educators play a critical role in helping with this. As the lines between personal and school related technologies becoming increasingly blurred, it is more important than ever that today’s students hear about these topics in the school setting. 

Watch the presentation recording in full or skip ahead to a section:

Introduction

Staff-Student-Parent Triangle
Parent Anxiety, The Device is Not the Problem, the Importance of Alignment and Working as a Team to Help Students, The Power of a Phone Call vs. Email

Screen Time & Balance
Entertainment vs. Educational Screen Time

Attention & Focus, Addiction
Two Different Attention Systems
Turning off notifications
Addictive apps like a pocket slot machine

Stopping Cues & Natural Consequences
Humans are finite, but technology/computers can work forever
Look for logical breaks, incremental time
Using Apple Guided Access
Address the behavior vs. taking away technology
Allowing failure, letting go

Modeling & Personal Balance
Being present—be where your feet are

Relationships & Social Media
FOMO vs. JOMO
What age should a child get a smartphone?
What age to start using social media?
Relationships, Connection, and Rice Cakes

Next Steps
Resources
Mathew’s blog, Relationships That Heal

Also, if you are in the Minnetonka area, check out Mathew’s upcoming parent workshops on Teens & Technology through Minnetonka Community Education: 
  • October 10 - What Kids Do on the Internet and its Impact on Development
  • October 17 - Identify Strategies to Keep Technology from Controlling Your Family
  • October 24 - Taking Back Control – Create a Family Digital Strategy
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Monday, April 10, 2017

Parenting in the Digital Age: Finding a Healthy Balance (Webinar Recording)


In our continued efforts to inform and educate parents about ways to help their children learn to use technology positively and have a healthy balance in their use of technology, we held a lunch hour webinar last week. We have done this in the past and found it to be an effective way to reach a large number of busy parents. Over 300 parents signed up in the first couple of days we advertised it. Not all ended up watching it live, but all who did sign up received a recording of it afterwards to watch. We'll also post it on our website for anyone to see. This webinar format is becoming more common for parents who want the information but can't fit an evening meeting into their schedule. We have run webinars in the past for programs about topics such as class registration and our VANTAGE business internship program. These, too, have been popular and recordings have been watched by many who did not attend the face to face meeting.  

For this webinar, Parenting in the Digital Age: Finding a Healthy Balance, I was joined by Mathew Meyers, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist from Traverse Counseling. I've known Mathew for a few years now as part of our District Digital Health & Wellness Committee. Mathew has such great insight and advice for parents about dealing with kids and technology, and he even counsels and helps young people with video game addiction. Both of us are parents ourselves and figuring out how to raise kids in this high tech world we all live in today. 

I'm always learning things from Mathew, and during this webinar I asked him questions about a number of topics, including addiction, attention and advice for consequences when rules around technology aren't followed. I often receive questions from parents who are divorced about how to enforce rules when parents have different beliefs, and he had some great advice. We also asked those registering to submit questions ahead of time and received about 60 questions which we grouped into six areas and addressed during the webinar: Screen Time & Balance, Attention & Focus, Addiction, Parenting & Modeling, Monitoring & Filtering, and Age Recommendations. You can watch the 54 minute recording here. 

During the webinar parents submitted another 25 questions which we tried to answer. We sent out a survey afterwards and asked parents to let us know future topics of interest. You can see the results from our survey pictured (24 responses so far). Feedback about the webinar itself is pictured below. Because of such positive results and so many people asking us to do another session, we are planning a second webinar in a few weeks (on May 10). I'll post this second webinar recording afterwards on this blog. During our next webinar we plan to include a live video with a webcam to make it more than just an audio file with some slides. 
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